Lilou: Proust Questonnaire

I’m in Paris.

It was cold yesterday, maybe a bit too cold for me to be walking in the park. But around this time of year, it's mostly empty, so it’s a good quiet place.  And I felt like I needed quiet.

In the middle of my walk, I spotted a man sitting on a small bench, dressed in a big black cape, a tall hat with a funny little mustache. A magician!

So I went and sat right next to him.

He looked busy thinking so I felt shy to bother him right away, I waited a bit but he never turned to look at me. Then I sneezed.

He jumped, turned to me and said:

“Oh, hello Mademoiselle, how do you do?”

I said I was just fine and I asked him if he was a magician. He said:

“Oh! No no! I am afraid not! Let me introduce myself, Monsieur Proust. Enchanté.”

I said:

“Proust? You mean Marcel Proust, the writer?!”

He said:

“Yes, that iz correct.”

I said:

“But you are dead!”

This didn’t seem to bother him and he said:

“So?”

I didn’t know what to do after this so I just sat quietly until he pulled out a little notebook and a pen and he started talking again:

“I like collecting interviews from people I meet, would you be willing to answer a few questions about yourself? It iz quite a lot of fun, you might learn things about yourself you didn’t know!”

So I said sure, sure, why not.

He didn’t let me keep the paper he was writing on, but I remembered most of the questions. Here they are:

Mr. Proust’s Questionnaire

Name:

Lilou sticks

Age:

Zouzi told me I’m around 180 in cat years

Height:

I’m as tall as most chairs

Eye Colour:

Black

Hair Colour:

Black

 Where do you come from?

I came from the bakery down the street over there, I spent all afternoon learning how to sift icing sugar onto the cakes, but I made a bit of a mess in the kitchen, so they told me to take a break for the day. Its ok because I’ll be back tomorrow.

What is your favourite time of day?

Tea time, with a cozy bun

Where are you based at this time?

On the bench right next to you

What is your principal defect?

Sometimes when I daydream people come up to me and tell me to stop staring at them. But I didn’t know I was staring at them.

Who are you favorite heroes of fiction?

Snoopy... because he really puts things into perspective

Who is your favourite painter?

Yoshitomo Nara, because I can relate

Who is your favourite musician?

Edith Piaf because she makes me dance              

What is you favourite occupation?

I like to pretend that my job is opening doors for people in cafés and restaurants, and I welcome them in

What is your most marked characteristic?

My nose

What to your mind would be the greatest misfortune?

Not being able to tell which way is up

What do you collect?

Cups. Tea cups, water cups, drinking cups. They are very friendly objects.

 What is your favourite colour?

Raspberry blue.

What is your favourite flower?

Plain white flour, it’s the best for baking

 Who are your favourite writers?

Edward Lear, because he wrote the Owl and the Pussy Cat and I memorized it.

What is your favourite book?

Goodnight Moon because I like when it says “Goodnight Nobody.” It’s a bit scary.

What would you like to be?

I want to be me but with more space in my stomach so that I can eat more cupcakes

What natural gift would you like to possess?

I would like to be able to write with my left hand. And then I can tell people I’m an ambidextrous.

What is your motto?

Keep your eyes open. Wide, wide open, like this.

 What is your greatest fear?

Arachibutyrophia. I don’t want to talk about it.

What is your favorite journey?

To the moon and back, I haven’t been yet but I’m hopeful

Have you ever lied?

If by lie you mean making someone feel better, then yes. Yes I have.

What is your most treasured possession?

A handkerchief someone very special gave me. Its not used.

Do you have a best friend?

Yes. Zouzi, my cat, but he’s not really a cat. He’s a person that happens to look like a cat.

What do you like to smell?

I like the smell of cinnamon buns in the oven. I wish I could sit on a cinnamon bun.

 What do you like to eat?

Well actually, I’m on a seefood diet, when I see food I eat it

What makes you angry?

Zouzi panics very easily and I get angry with him, I have to say: Zouzi, you stop it right now, you pull yourself together. Its not the end of the world the store is out of your favourite toilet paper.

Do you have any secrets?

No, no. I’m not going be fooled by that one again

What do you do before you go to bed?

Zouzi stretches me out, I lie on my tummy, and then he walks on my back. Once I said, Zouzi, let me walk on your back it feels great. So I did. The Doctor was not impressed.

What makes you sad?

Brown M&Ms

Where are your hiding places?

Once Zouzi and I were playing hide and seek and I hid in the freezer, but then it wasn’t fun anymore because it started hurting and then Zouzi had to help me out and he said,  “You see Lilou, too much haha pretty soon boohoo.” Then we had to take a break from the game.