I want to sleep.

I can’t sleep.

WHY WAS HE WAITING UNDER MY HOUSE?

I went to the Café 3 times to ask him myself, but that just didn’t work at all.

The first time his father said:

“Oh! He is playing football with his friends! Come back in the afternoon!”

So I came back in the afternoon.

Then Sylvie the waitress told me:

“Non Non ma chérie! He is having his Japanese lesson! Come back in an hour!”

So I came back in an hour and he was there.

He didn’t  kick me, he didn’t push me, he did not put anything in my chocolat, in fact he didn’t even look at me.

He was reading a book and I said:

“Uh, Quentin?”

He ignored me.

I said “Quentin” again, and he raised an eyebrow but still ignored me.

I stood in front of him without moving for 20 minutes and he continued reading for 20 minutes.

Then I went back up to my house.

I CAN’T SLEEP.

FRENETIC

Today I learned a new word:

Frenetic.

It means: "fast and energetic in a rather wild and uncontrolled way."

Yesterday was frenetic.

I was in such a rush that I got to St Pancreas station ten minutes before my train was supposed to leave.

When I finally got there and I was waiting in line I realised my feet felt weird. They were too cold. I forgot to wear my shoes. There was nothing I could do about it so i just took a deep breath and waited.

Then a little woman took me aside and told me I had been selected for a random security check. I told her:
"Thank you so much, but I'm afraid I don't have time! "

I ran straight to my train and when I finally sat down I let out a huge breath. only to realise I was sitting on someone's lap. This someone did not seem too happy because I crinkled his newspaper.

The train ride after that, I don't remember much of because I fell asleep and dreamed the whole time about something I most definitely do not feel comfortable talking about. All I can tell you is that I woke up with a very red face.

When we got to Gard du Nord I did not feel so good because I was scared to come back to an empty house with no noise.

The whole taxi ride home my stomach was telling me he felt dizzy. I told him "It's okay" but my brain knew that it was not okay.

As we got nearer to my house I saw something sitting on my doorstep. I told the driver:

"Monsieur, ici s'il vous plait!", I hopped out and walked right over to inspect.

..............................................................................................................................

It was Quentin.

Quentin with a very angry red face.

Quentin who pushed me over and walked right back to the cafe without saying a word.

And there was a very confused me.

A very very confused me.

Can you spot it?

It’s not a secret anymore, or I don’t know if it ever was and so:

I went to London. I am still there. I decided to make my trip longer.

I spent my time in London with a friend I haven’t seen for a long, long time. I can’t tell you much about her because she is shy, but I can tell you that I feel so much better.

I was around smiling faces and I stayed in a cozy house right next to Harrods, which is a department store that has everything from ice cream to kittens.

Lots of linners and lots of brunches.

Lots of cake and lots of music.

Lots of dancing and lots and lots of sleeping.

And most of all lots of laughing.

It feels good and I am happy.

I have to go back tomorrow, which I am not looking forward to, but something tells me this time is going to be different.

You know why?

I’ll show you. Here is a picture I took 26 minutes ago on my late afternoon walk.

Look closely. There are three big balls of light. The one on the top is not a street lamp like the other two. 

Yes! It’s the moon.

A big glowing moon. And its special, I can feel it. I don’t know why but I felt it.

If you read this tonight, try look at it through your window.

So lets all sleep well tonight and lets see what will happen tomorrow.

Here is another picture I took from outside the  window of my friends house, high up.

Im taking a time out

I am going traveling tomorrow. For one week.

I don't where yet, but I'll decide tonight.

Maybe you are wondering why I have taken this decision all of a sudden. But it's not all of a sudden.

I am tired. It's fall now, the tree outside my window is yellow, orange and red and things are not better.
In fact I think they have gotten worse.

Quentin.

He is a boy. I don't know how old he is, but I don't think he is that much older than I am, maybe a little. He is definitely taller though.
His parents own the cafe under my house and I go there a lot (but you knew that already).
Well, anyways he has made my days very difficult. He used to be scared of cats so I never got more than a couple of dirty looks when I was with Zouzi.

Now:

He puts his foot out, and last week I took quite a fall.

He pulls the chair from under me.

He puts leaves in my hair (which I only notice when I get home).

Yesterday was the last straw. He put Tabasco in my chocolat chaud.

I dont know what I have done to make him so upset at the sight of me. I haven't exchanged one word with him. He just seems to be very entertained at the thought of watching me get hurt. He has been doing this for the past month and I jut don't think I can take anymore. I said to him:
"Please Quentin, leave me alone, I never bother you, why do you have to bother me?"
But he didn't even care, he just raises an eyebrow at me.

So I am tired of Quentin, I am tired of my room, I am tired of my chair next to the window, and I am tired of the yellow, orange and red tree outside of it.

Ill write to you soon from where ever I end up.

Remembering

Here are some pictures I found of me and Zouzi. From when I was pretending to be a teacher.

Hello

I have not written all summer.

Maybe you thought I ran away somewhere.

Or maybe you thought that I did not exist anymore.

But I did not run away and I still very much exist.

Something curious has happened and that is why I have not written a word since the 15^th of June.

Zouzi has left me.

It all happened the day after I wrote the letter to the teapot.

I was sitting on the terrace drinking blue lemonade and counting the ants on the tiles when Zouzi told me he was heading out for a stroll. I knew it was really because he wanted to be first in line for a book signing of I Can Make You Thin.

I didn’t feel like teasing him so I said that I would meet him at the restaurant down the road for dinner. It was a Wednesday, and that is our favourite restaurant day.

So Zouzi went out and I continued to count the ants, which kept moving.

At eight o’clock I was at the restaurant, there was no sign of him, so I waited until 9:30 but he did not show up.

I thought he must have forgotten, so I went back home but he was not there.

I ran to the bookshop but the lights were off and it was locked.

I walked around the streets in the area but he was nowhere.

I became hot and cold and dizzy, dizzy, dizzy and I shouted:

“Zouzi! Zouzi!” so loudly that a lot people gave me angry looks.

I went back home late that night without Zouzi and the apartment was very quiet. Zouzi’s things were everywhere. It was like he was there but he was not. It’s a very upsetting feeling. Do you know it?

I looked everywhere until July 15^th . But I did not find him.

On the 16^th of July. I stopped leaving my house because I was so worried and I did not want to go anywhere incase he comes back.

Yesterday, on the 19^th of September I received a postcard early in the

Morning. The postman said it was the strangest thing he had ever seen. It was a glossy, plain white rectangle; the stamp was light blue but did not indicate any country. There was no return address and the postman said he didn’t even know how it could have been sent.

I held it in my hands and examined it. It was plain and white and glossy with a blue stamp.

I turned it over and saw this message:

I am sad because I miss him. But Zouzi seems to be all right and there doesn’t seem to be much I can do about anything.

I will continue to write to you and tell you about how I see this world and how odd of a place it is.

Perhaps I will make a new friend who will put up with me the way Zouzi did, but until then, it is me with me and with you, if you like.

Letter Week: Day 2

Letter Week: Day 1

Puzzles.

The Easter Bunny is REAL !

I woke up early this morning because I heard footsteps outside my front door. I wanted to wake up Zouzi, but he gets very cranky when I do that, so instead, I went over to the door and looked outside the peephole. There was nobody.

I opened the door anyways…

Do you know what I saw?

CHOCOLATE!!! Lots and lots of chocolate!!

                                                                                                      

I am absolutely sure it was the Easter Bunny. I was told about this fellow a few days ago, Zouzi told me it wasn’t true, but I knew it was, I promise I knew it was!

Last night me and Zouzi painted Easter eggs.

And we are going out to have a BIG lunch now!

Happy Easter everyone.

Please keep glowing like you were that night.

A wedding is when two people get married.

A happy wedding is when two people who are happy together get married.

A lovely happy wedding is when two people who love each other and are happy together get married.

I went to my first wedding.

It was lovely and happy and I am lucky that I got to be a part of it.

There was dancing and dancing and singing and singing and cake cake cake, kisses and kisses and more kisses and Oh! The pink cheeks and the twirling and the laughing and the big smiling.

The lights made the room look pinkish gold and the music had lots of different sounds in it that went really well together and the two people who were in love and happy and getting married were glowing like glow in the dark sticks.

And then something strange happened. My eyes started watering. And I told them:

“What are you doing eyes? This is the wrong time for water to come out!”

But they didn’t listen to me, but its ok because I looked around the room and it seemed my eyes were not the only ones being naughty.

Edible buttons

I think Martha Stewart is a special lady.

Sometimes I like to pretend I have my own cooking show, just like hers.

I make Zouzi be the audience. He has to clap for me.

Sometimes he doesn’t feel like playing though.

Yesterday I made button cookies.

I had a bit of trouble working with the peanut butter.

I like them because they look like buttons and Zouzi likes them because he can eat them.

Here is how I did it.

First I prepared all my ingredients.

Then I mixed it all together.

Then I rolled them into mini rounds

.

Then I baked them.

Then I took them out and pressed a bottle cap in them and punched button holes in them.

And here they are. I bought a special cookie plate. 

  And that is how you make edible buttons.

The man in the moon

Have you ever been so nervous at night you couldn’t even close your eyes?

I have.

Yesterday morning I overheard two women in the café talking to each other. One of them said:

"Martine, did you know that the moon is the closest it’s been to the earth in 20 years?!"

Then the other one said:

"I heard! The man in the moon must be getting lonely!"

And then they started laughing and laughing and laughing.

I went straight back to Zouzi and I said to him:

“What’s this story about a man in the moon?”

He said:

“Yes, what about the man in the moon? He has been living there for quite some time now, its not news.”

I don’t know why but this all made me very nervous. Why was there a man in the moon, what was he doing there and why hadn’t I known about this fellow before?

There was something that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

When the night came, I looked out the window and I saw a BIG moon. I looked and looked and I saw him. I saw his face in the moon. He was looking down at me and it looked like he was trying to tell me something but I think he was too far for me to hear it. That made me feel a bit sad.

I didn’t sleep a wink. All I could do was think about this man in the moon and about how lonely he must feel watching us from all the way up there.

Ceci n'est pas un bol.

The chef from the café under my house gave me a present yesterday. Do you know what he gave me?

A bowl. A mixing bowl.

Zouzi looked so disappointed, he said:

“That’s what he gave you? A bowl?”

But I told him:

Zouzi don’t be silly, this is not just a bowl.

It is a hat.

That makes music when you bang it. 

It is a step, if you can’t reach something.

It is an umbrella when it is raining.

It is a swimming pool for small people.

And most importantly it is a hiding place.

Zouzi didn’t seem too convinced, because when I finished explaining he walked off. But I know where to find him next time we play hide and seek.